i'm really not okay,
 no not today,
blanket me in the clouds of grey, wash the tears, into the rain....
take these thoughts away, i dont like the shadow games, i dont like the way....
 they play..

 funny thing about digging in the dirt.. you scrape away at the clay brush off the loose dust.. find a fragment of something that once was.. a discovery of an entire existence of  something that walked.. talked.. possibly loved and probably hurt.. you make an attempt to communicate with it.. understand what it was and how it thrived. what nourishment it granulated, how it flourished.. the torment it may have engaged. .. and ultimately its falling out.. its demise..
  live for a moment inside its dreams,  envoke its passions.. learn from its suffering... but do we ever really work at it? or do we just dream about it being different?
                                                         well... thats finally something.

 this is my first entry.  so far... i've no idea what i am doing.... just going with a feeling... hooray for feelings!!